Christmas Time With The Paladins
by MaggiesHeartLove
Summary: The Paladins come together to recreate some funny Christmas sketches. Merry Christmas, from MaggiesHeartLove and MiraculousWolf


"Hey, everybody this is Keith and Allura from Rewrite the Stars, wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays."

"We would like to apologize for the lack of updates this past month, both Maggie and MiraculousWolf have been busy with preparations for the holiday and a break was much needed. But, not to worry because the story is not quite over yet."

"Well, it's almost over but there's still a few chapters left to go."

"Darling, you're not crying are you?"

"No! Just... space dust."

***giggles*** "Anyway, in the spirit of the holiday we have a very special present for all of you wonderful readers. Inspired by the April Fools chapter last year, we have decided to reenact some of Maggie's favorite Christmas themed comedy sketches from Studio C."

"Our way of spreading Christmas cheer and to thank you all for your love and support through the years. We love you guys and we can't wait for you to see what happens next."

"God bless you and enjoy."

(~)

**Sketch 1:**

**Home Alone... Again**

(~)

"Are you sure it's okay with your roommates that I'm crashing at your apartment?" Shiro asked as he and Keith were walking down the snow-covered streets towards his younger brother's home.

"Oh sure," Keith said with a confident shrug. "They love company. Especially my roommate, Lance. Guy hates being home alone."

The two men reached the front door and once Keith placed his hand on the doorknob his skin startle to sizzle. He screamed in pain, clenching his burning hand, his Galra features became more prominent and he started growling.

"Keith are you okay?" Shiro asked, more shocked over the hot-as-coals doorknob than Keith's fangs and yellow eyes. "Why would someone do that to the door?"

"You guys give up yet?" A voice called out from the roof of the building. "Or are you thirsty for more!"

"Lance! What is wrong with you?!" Keith shouted, his hand now red like Rudolph's nose.

"I told you I have one rule: Never, under no circumstances, leave me home alone this time of year!" Lance said, dressed similarly to Kevin's character from Home Alone, complete with the hat.

"Whoa, man calm down. We just wanted to come into the house." Shiro said, trying to ease the strange young man, who was clearly having some kind of mental break down or something.

"NEVER!" Lance shouted dramatically then threw a brick at Shiro's, knocking him out. "My bad! That was a knee jerk response!"

"Who throws a brick as a knee jerk response?!" Keith exclaimed, "You've seriously injured my brother!"

"He'll be fine. I know from experience that a brick thrown three stories high is practically harmless. He's just being dramatic. Watch this."

Before Keith could protest Lance threw another brick at some random person walking down the street, knocking them out cold just as quickly as he did Shiro. Keith gave Lance a horrified look. He was pretty sure he saw the stranger's head bleeding. And possibly losing an eye.

"Okay, bad example!"

A scream came from inside the apartment. "What was that noise?" Keith asked.

"Sounds like some bad guys just tried to break into the apartment," Lance said, looking oddly smug about it which worried Keith a lot more than he already was. Glass shattered and a body came falling from the window landing at Keith's feet. The man quickly got back up, completely covered in feathers and parts of his clothes were singed, as well as his hair.

"Hunk?! What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Lotor and I tried to use the back entrance and there were flames and feathers...everywhere." Hunk looked like he was about to cry until he got hit in the head by a brick and fell unconscious. Keith looked up and noticed Lance's shocked and slight guilty expression.

"Okay. We have officially confirmed that bricks _are_ dangerous, but it's the only way I know how to defend this apartment."

An electric shock was heard and another person came tumbling down from the window. Keith recognized the body and his jaw dropped.

"Lotor?!"

"Looks like someone tried to use the bathroom sink," Lance said, waving his finger in disappointment.

"Dude, the man is a skeleton!" Keith shouted in frustration then shuddered in disgust seeing the bony remains of Lotor, which for some strange reason still had his clothes on and his white hair was standing on end with electoral currents coursing through. "Oh, good grief, and I thought season 8's melted corpse was bad."

"This is nothing new. He will fully recover from this." Lance said in a relaxed tone. No more than two seconds after he said this, Lotor, now with his flesh on and white hair all frizzled, stood upright, grabbing onto Keith's arm for support.

"There, ya see?"

"Lotor, I can't believe it, you're ali—" Keith stopped midway when Lotor was hit with yet another brick and fell down. At least now he had his flesh and blood back, but that wasn't going to save Lance now.

"WHY?!"

"Okay, I'm sorry but can we at least acknowledge how good of an aim I am? I should be in the major leagues."

"You should be in prison! You need serious help man!"

"There's only one person who can help me." Lance looked off into the distance with a sad look of longing on his face, and tears forming around the corner of his eyes. "I doubt she's even still alive."

"Lance!" The Irish woman from the second Home Alone film appeared, played by Honerva. Keith stared at the audience with a confused look. This sketch was getting weirder by the minute.

"Lance, it's me. Don't be afraid." Irish Honerva said and soft violin music filled the air, "Follow the star in your heart."

Keith jumped out of the way when an air conditioner fell down and hit the woman, nearly squashing her.

"_**YOU DON'T CALL ME FOR TWENTY THREE YEARS AND I'M SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOU?! I GAVE YOU TURTLE DOVES, WOMAN!**_"

"Was that our AC Unit?! Why would you throw that?!"

"I ran out of bricks."

"Okay, I don't know what's going on here—I don't follow this series as much as the author does—"

"Don't break character!"

"Point is, I am leaving. Forever! You can keep my stuff."

"Really? Even your Marmora blade and those pictures of Allura?"

"Okay, _those_ I'm getting back!" Keith shouted, his face as red as Rudolph's nose. Just as he was about to make a beeline to the front door he was whacked in the head by a giant shovel, held by the mysterious white-bearded man in a suit from the first Home Alone film, played by Coran. Coran gave the crazy Lance a thumbs up. At least there was one friend Kevin—I mean, Lance—could still trust.

(~)

**Sketch 2:**

**Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven, Christmas Edition**

Pidge, dressed in Christmas themed footie pajamas while hugging a teddy bear, sat next to the tree near the fireplace. She yawned as she waited for the arrival of the jolly old fat man in red. As she did so, the disembodied voice of Allura narrated the tale.

_Once upon a midnight cheery _

_While I waited weak and weary_

_Near the fireplace as I'd done on Christmases before_

_While I nodded nearly napping_

_Suddenly there came a tapping_

Pidge was dozing off until she heard the said tapping Allura was talking about. She jerked upright and jumped to her feet, a smile growing wider and wider as the realization hit her.

_As of reindeer gently rapping _

_Rapping atop the highest floor_

_I whispered quietly:_

"IT'S HIM!" Pidge said at the top of her lungs.

_Or perhaps I screamed it like a wild boar_

_Time to get my gifts galore_

_Ah, distinctly I remember_

'_Twas the 24th of December_

_And I had just sent several letters saying _

_I'd been good the year before_

As Allura narrated Pidge prepared the milk and cookies. She opened a gallon of milk, smelled it and nearly gaged. She checked the expiration date and winced. Then she shrugged and poured the expired milk into the glass.

_Eagerly I'd wish the morrow_

_No more would I have to sorrow_

_For I had wished the perfect gift_

_That no one else had wished before_

Above the fireplace, Pidge gently took down the stocking with her name on it, beside the other stockings that had the names of her older brother and parents. She replaced her regular-sized stocking with a much, much, much larger one.

_The toy store had many choices_

_I could surely not ignore_

_So I requested the entire store_

Once the stocking was securely hung, Pidge rubbed her hands together and smiled a devilish smile that would make the Grinch himself wet his pants.

_Filled with wonderful elation_

_Waiting with anticipation _

_By the fireplace until I heard a knock upon the door._

Pidge scratched her head when she heard someone knocking. "That was odd."

"_That was odd", I thought confused_

_Why would Santa use the door?_

_Right, I recalled_

_This thing is fake_

_And simply set up for decor_

Pidge pulled the fireplace away from the wall, just to show to the audience that it was indeed fake and thus Santa couldn't use it to get inside the house.

_Perhaps if I'd been slightly stronger _

_I'd have waited slightly longer_

_But I wanted my gifts right now so I ran to reach the door!_

Allura narrated the last part rather quickly, matching Pidge's anticipation as she grabbed the plate of milk and cookies and hurried to the door. She cleared her throat and tried to keep herself calm before opening the door to greet Santa.

_Once he had stepped foot inside_

_Then I would offer him a bribe_

_And stand and watch as he supplied _

_The many gifts I "humbly" asked before_

_Here I open wide the door_

_Darkness there and nothing more_

Pidge opened the door and was both confused and disappointed not to find Saint Nick standing there. "What the what?"

_Back into the chamber turning all my—_

"AAAHHH!" Pidge screamed, nearly dropping the milk and cookies when she saw... a surprisingly young and strikingly handsome Santa who didn't have a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly but instead had pythons for arms standing behind the door. Apparently, Santa had been going to the gym. A lot. This was actually Shiro playing the part of Santa.

"Holy quiznack!"

_I said as I lay prostrate on the floor_

"Surely you couldn't have waited just outside the front door? Well, no matter,"

_Said I,_

"I won't keep you long. Just leave the gifts and hum a song, for I know you have a very long and busy night in store." Pidge stopped for a moment and then shuddered. Her entire body felt like a bunch of angry ants were crawling up and down her arms, legs, and back. "How do people in Dr. Seuss's books live like this?"

Santa Shiro reached into his bag, which looked a lot lighter than Pidge had imagined.

_With a single gift,_

"Less is more," Shiro said, handing Pidge a cup-and-ball toy. The sparkle in her eyes fizzled out like a flame being blown out by a cruel breeze. She stared at the toy in her hand, her left eye twitching.

"Ummm..."

_I said,_

"I disagree."

_Trying not to let him see_

_That what I wanted most for me_

_Wasn't toys from the First World War_

_I did not want one toy, thought I_

_I wanted the entire store!_

_I argued back—_

"More is more," Pidge said, grinding her teeth to keep herself from exploding.

_Then the Santa, condescending _

_His lame and pithy gift rescinding _

_Took what're that stupid thing was_

_And dropped some coal onto the floor_

While Allura narrated, Shiro took the toy from Pidge, reached into his bag and dropped a lump of coal onto the floor.

"You're no longer on the nice list, and this present you will soon miss. Because coal is stupid!" Said, Santa Shiro. Pidge stood there with her mouth opened wide in shock.

_Not only had he crushed my dreams_

_He ruined the whole rhyming scheme_

_And his cold judgmental gleam _

_Did cause a rage ne'er known before_

_Time to even up the score_

"You will give me what I've asked for," demanded Pidge, "All the toys in the toy store, or you will spend Christmas Eve bound and tethered on my floor!—Wow, this took a dark turn."

_Then back towards the entrance turning_

_All my soul within me burning_

_My adrenaline was churning_

_As I dead-bolted the door_

_Sadly it has come to this_

Once the front door was locked Pidge pulled out a shotgun from behind the couch and pointed it at Santa Shiro. "This is still a PG-rated story, right? Is this a prop?"

_Getting gifts was such a chore_

"We're not gonna address this? We're still going? Okay then—_Empty the bag onto the floor!_" Pidge said threateningly.

"How dare you dare to threaten me. For I am Santa and you'll see, I can't be pressed to giving betters gifts when you want more. You, little children, need to learn, that true respect is something earned—"

"Quiet, wrench! It's now my turn!"

"You're right, this is getting really dark," Shiro said, briefly breaking character.

"What is even happening right now?"

_I fired my Red Ryder onto the floor_

_And overhead so I'd seam hardcore _

"Okay, I admit I do look pretty hardcore," Pidge said rather smugly. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

_Quoth the reindeer: _

"OUCH! OH, MY SIDES! I'M BLEEDING! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE! REINDEER DOWN!"

"COMET, _NO!_" Silver Star screamed in terror.

"STAY WITH ME, BROTHER! STAY WITH ME!" Blaze cried out.

"IT'S TOO LATE! I SEE THE LIGHT. TELL EMBER I'VE ALWAYS LO—" A loud thump was heard. Shiro and Pidge just stood there, staring up at the ceiling, eyes so wide they looked like they would jump right out of their sockets.

"Holly Nativity, Nebula is gonna kill me!" Santa Shiro exclaimed in horror.

"Can we please end this already?" Pidge said, "I don't know how much more I can take this."

"Yeah, let's just wrap this up." Shiro rummaged through his bag to give Pidge what she really wanted. Trembling, she held up the tune but was careful not to pull the trigger again.

_The fearful fat one then complied—_

"Hey, I'm not fat!" Shiro said defensively.

_Emptying content as he cried_

_Now Old St. Nick was not so smug as he appeared to be before_

_But then I saw to my chagrin_

_The bag had little else therein _

_And I cried—_

"What fiendish sin! The toys, why are there not more?!" Pidge was horrified to learn that the bag had nothing else but random wooden toys that no modern-day child would ever be caught dead with. Santa Shiro kneeled beside the distraught child, his head hung in shame.

"The North Pole, sadly, all has melted, and my toy shop sank offshore. We should have listened to Al Gore."

"Um, hello? I'm still bleeding here." Comet said from above the roof. "I passed up for a minute but I still need a hospital."

"Gotta go, Merry Christmas!" Sant Shiro said and burst out the door to reach his injured friend. "_I'm coming buddy!_"

With that, Pidge breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank You, God, it's over! Onto the next sketch I... I need some eggnog."

(~)

**Sketch 3:**

**The Interrogation of Santa Claus**

"Do it."

Santa Hunk was splashed with water, waking him from his deep slumber. He felt sluggish at first but the feeling in his legs was slowly returning. He was horrified to realize that he was tied to a chair.

"Where am I? What happened?"

"Let's just say we slipped a little something extra into those cookies."

"Aura?" Hunk blinked, surprised to see the normally sweet-natured longma and her brother Blaze, levitating a bat over his haunches, staring at him like he just committed a crime of some kind. He was inside their house, the Christmas tree lights lit with color creating colorful shadows on the longma's faces.

"You guys are in this? Okay, an odd choice but I'll roll with it. What is the meaning of this?! Why am I tied up? Where are your parents?"

"We got a couple of questions for you, Kris. Can I call you Kris?" Aura said, sounding like an interrogation officer. An unexpected role for someone like Aura, but maybe that was part of the joke, at least that's what Hunk thought.

"No! No, you may not. And untie me immediately I have a very busy night and I don't have time for your shenanigans!"

"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho," Blaze laughed tauntingly while spinning the bat in mid-air. "Nick, Nick, Nick, can I call ya Nick?"

"No."

"What makes you think you have any power in this situation?"

"I am Father Christmas!"

"Let me stop you there, Papa Noel." Aura said, "First question: What is the true spirit of Christmas mean to you?"

"Well, I suppose Christmas means loving your neighbor and giving for the sake of doing so." Santa Hunk said, unsure exactly where these rebellious little children were going with this.

"Oh, a true season of selflessness." Blaze said.

"Exactly."

"Tell me about Coca-Cola, Santa." Aura leaned in closer to Sant Hunk with a menacing look in her eyes. She saw the sweat drops beginning to form.

"I—I don't see what this has to do with anything." Santa Hunk said nervously.

"_Corporate sponsorship!_" Blaze shouted in Santa Hunk's ear, almost making him go deaf.

"NO!"

"Go ahead "Saint Nicholas", Aura used her wings to form the "air quote" gesture, "And tell me you don't make a nice chunk of change on all those commercials."

"Not to mention all those paid mall appearances." Blaze said, poking Santa Hunk with the bat. "Deck the halls with dirty money."

Aura started tossing said dollar bills onto Santa Hunk's face with her telekinesis. "Fa-la-la-la-la. La-la. La. _La!_"

Santa Hunk blew away the dollars that landed on his beard. He sighed, feeling humiliated and distraught. "Okay, you're right. It's just that Mrs. Claus got used to a certain standard of living, and—"

"And what? Your comfort gives you the right to hijack Christmas?" Aura said.

"I didn't hijack anything! And when did you become this feisty? Does Pidge know about this? She'd be very proud."

"Aww, thanks Hunk. That's really sweet."

"Sis!"

"Right, game face."

"Oh, and what do we have here?" Blaze levitated Santa Hunk's sack of toys.

"No!" Santa Hunk cried out in fear, "Those are all the presents for the good children!"

"You mean all the _bribes_ for the good children!" Blaze said, levitating a stuffed rabbit from the bag. "Don't you see, Santa? Being nice for a prize isn't being nice at all. That's like visiting your grandma because you hope she'll give you her inheritance."

"Wait, is that why you were visiting your grandmother?"

"This isn't about us!" Aura shouted, making Santa Hunk suck in his lips to silence himself.

"It's about _you!_" Blaze poked Santa Hunk with the stuffed toy again, nearly poking his eye with it. "And your dirty plush money." Blaze then whacked Santa Hunk in the face with the toy.

"Ah! Rabbit!"

"The true spirit of Christmas is dying under the combined weight of materialism!" Aura said.

"And capitalism." Blaze said.

"Don't you mean the combined _abs_ of materialism and capitalism?" Santa Hunk said.

"You're delusional!" Aura slapped Santa Hunk right in the face.

"Ah! Wing!"

"Oh, sorry. Was that too hard?"

"A little, but still very impressive. I really felt scared there."

"Thank you!"

Sant Hunk contemplated what the children were saying and his mind became as clear as a fog-less night. "I suppose you're right. But, what is to be done?"

"You're going away, Santa," Blaze said, untying the ropes around Santa Hunk.

"Really? You're letting me go?"

Then, out of nowhere, Aura and Blaze started crying like little kids and a couple of cops came bursting through the door when the lights back came on.

"Hands in the air! Don't move!" Keith said as he pointed the gun at Santa Hunk. Accompanying him was Lance, also wielding a gun. Santa Hunk held his hand up in surrender.

"There he is, officer!" Aura said with big doe eyes.

"The robber we called you about!" Blaze said, also playing the innocent act to dupe the police.

"No! I'm not a robber, I'm Santa Claus!"

"I don't care. I'm Jewish." Keith said.

"Hey, I thought I was playing the Jewish cop," Lance said in a whiny voice, pouting in disappointment.

"Wait," Santa Hunk said, "Wait..."

Blaze gasped, "He's laying a finger aside of his nose! And up the chimney, he rose." Blaze dropped disappointingly onto the couch when Santa Hunk magically disappeared up the chimney in a mist of magic once he laid his finger on the side of his nose. Keith looked up the chimney and saw nothing. The fat man in red was gone. All they heard was his jolly laughter echoing in the night as he flew off.

"Sorry, you had to see that, kids." Said Officer Keith, "Happy Hanukkah."

"Seriously, we need to discuss this casting thing. I swear I was gonna play that role." Officer Lance complained as he and Keith left the house. Disappointed, Blaze tried to drown his sorrows in cookies... the same cookies they used to knock out Santa Hunk in the first place.

"Wait, Blaze no!"

Blaze fell unconscious on the floor. Aura then started levitating a few more gifts from beneath the tree and made her way to the door.

"Well, more presents for me, I guess. We don't even live here."

(~)

**Sketch 4**

**How the Grinch Hijacked Christmas**

Up high on the snowy mountain top, the Grinch, a purple-skinned, grumpy and... surprisingly attractive man who went by the name of Lotor, though everybody else called him the Grinch, looked down upon the citizens of Whoville singling merrily on Christmas morning. He had just come back from supposedly stealing their infuriatingly happy holiday, but even without all of their presents and Christmas trees and Christmas cookies and fruitcake and mistletoe, the Who's in Whoville sung Christmas carols that reached high up into the Grinch's isolated home.

The voice of Coran narrated, _Then the Grinch Lotor thought of something he hadn't before _

"Maybe Christmas,"

_He thought_

"...doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, is... a little bit more."

_And what happened then? _

_Well, in Whoville they say;_

_That Lotor's small heart grew three sizes that day_

Lotor placed his hand over his heart, which felt much bigger than ever before. He felt the warmth and love of Christmas overtake him, it was an emotion he hadn't felt in centuries. It was beautiful and wonderful and... a bit painful.

"Ouch,"

_All at once, Lotor paled and began to convulse_

"That's strange,"

_He said, and started checking his pulse_

_Then Lotor knew his problem_

_His chest he did clutch_

_His heart grew three sizes_

_But that was one size too much_

In a panic, Lotor started hitting his chest with his fist, his heart was beating louder. His purple face started to go pale.

"My blood isn't flowing! A doc needs to pump it!" Lotor shouted before falling to his knees.

_So we called 911 to come to Mount Crumpet_

In a matter of seconds, Lotor was strapped to a gurney and was being pushed through the hospital doors by two doctors, played by Romelle and Allura.

"Help! My heart's beating fast and I feel I can't breathe!"

"You have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy," Allura said once they arrived at the emergency room.

"Oh, that doesn't sound so good..." Lotor's words became a slurred mess as he laid back down on the bed.

_Lotor's_ _words were all slurred_, Coran narrated.

"We don't have much time, we must get you cured," Romelle said as she put on her rubber gloves. "Though, you still need to atone for what you did to my people."

"Romelle, rhyming theme." Allura reminded her. Romelle agreed, she would be sure to address this next chapter.

_So they put him on nitro, they put him on statins. They put him on blockers, on thinners and aspirin._

The two doctors did just that. Allura opened Lotor's mouth so Romelle could throw the pills into his mouth, puffing his cheeks that he looked like a chipmunk.

_Ember Lou entered, she was really quite hurried_

"I'm here! And I'm terribly worried!" Ember came in, wearing a funny Cindy Lou wig and a red cape with white fur trim. She looked over her dear friend Lotor with deep concern.

_Doctor Allura sighed_

"See, Lotor's heart is a muscle, but it's enlarged and it won't let his blood hustle."

_That scared Ember Lou and she said..._

"All is lost. He learned to love but it came at what cost?" Ember cried, resting her head on the side of the bed next to Lotor who wasn't speaking.

"Doctor, the man is having a myocardial infarction!" Romelle said, placing her hand on Lotor's chest, using her heightened Altean senses to check his pulse and the state of his body.

"Blast! He could drop on a dime. He's young and deserves more time, time, time!" Doctor Allura, in her distress, started pounding in Lotor's chest dramatically, making him jerk up more than once.

"Ouch! I'm already in enough pain, woman!" Lotor exclaimed in annoyance sitting upright, then flopped back onto the bed, seemingly knocked out.

Romelle slapped Allura in the face, "Doctor, refocus! The Grinch's heart is too big!"

"You're right. Hand me that scalpel and that thingamajig."

_They acted quickly and Ember Lou was glad to see_

_That they perfected a successful angioplasty _

Ember watched carefully as the two women worked. She grimaced during the bloody parts, but thankfully this is a PG-rated story so nothing too graphic was seen. The surgery was a success. Lotor was alive, much to Ember's relief. Allura smiled and Romelle... well, she just shrugged and gave him a nonchalant pat on the head.

_When Lotor awoke from his pectoral affliction _

_He was given a list of dietary restriction _

"I want you off carbs, I want you off sweets." Doctor Allura said, "I want you off flip-flams, I want you off meats."

"But Doctor, was my new Christmas spirit at fault?" Lotor asked.

"Yes it was, and perhaps you eat way too much salt," Romelle said with a risen eyebrow. Despite her blindness, Lotor could feel her disapproving gaze piercing him like a knife.

Lotor, though relieved to be alive and well, was still feeling a little bit lightheaded. "Personal space, Ember. Please."

"Sure thing."

Once he was better Lotor rode on his sleigh, with Ember Lou beside him, they drove down the mountain to return the decorations to Whoville.

_And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight_

_He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light_

"Can I drive?" Ember asked.

"No."

_And he brought back the toys and the food for the feast_

_But he, doctor's orders, did not eat the roast beast_

Ember cut Lotor a slice of the roast but he politely declined and proceeded to eat his salad, much to his chagrin. Doctor Allura then handed him a slice of cake to make him feel better.

"It's sugar-free and low on carbs." She said with a wink.

"Wait a minute, why are you here?" Lotor asked.

"This is my house," Allura said, as her daughter Ember and her husband Keith gathered beside her.

"How else do you think we can afford all this food?" Keith said with a cocky smile.

Lotor stared back at the audience and chuckled. "Merry Christmas to all. And to all a healthy new year."

(~)

**Sketch 5**

**Christmas Shopping for the Four Wise Men**

**(Yes, it says Four)**

The Star of Bethlehem was shining bright in the clear night sky, and the four wise men were still inside their tent, preparing for their long journey to meet their Lord and Savior and to offer him their gifts.

Two of the wise men, Shiro and Keith, ate their meal until their good friend, Hunk arrived just in time.

"Ah, Hunk. So good to see you again." Shiro said, greeting his old friend with a hug.

"We were just preparing to depart for Bethlehem to visit the manger," Keith said, offering Hunk a cup of water to drink, for he looked very tired.

"Forgive my truancy." Hunk said as he sat down with them to rest for a while. "Even as a wise man, it proved difficult to find the perfect gift for the Prince of Peace."

"And what gift did you choose, Hunk?" Keith asked.

"I desired something both precious and unique. So I traveled to Egypt for three months to the Land of Punt and found..." Hunk pulled out his gift from his bag. "A bottle of frankincense."

"Wonderful!" Shiro said with glee. "I too have traveled far, to the Arabian Peninsula, nearly losing my life in exchange for..." Shiro got up from his chair to reveal his gift from his collection of items. "A bottle of myrrh."

"How glorious!" Hunk said, admiring the clean bottle in his friend's hands.

Keith kept his gaze to the floor, looking almost shameful. "Brother, I have a confession to make. I'm afraid that my gift did not require a long journey." Then he smiled, "Verily, I did sell all that I own to procure..." Keith revealed to them his gift. "This gold for our Lord."

Hunk and Shiro gasped with delight. "Most impressive," Shiro said, patting Keith on the back. "Oh, and Lance, I nearly forgot about you. What have you found for the Almighty One? The King of Kings."

Lance, the fourth wise man, had been silent all throughout, and once all eyes were on him his eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.

"Well..." He started, "I decideth... to be a little more... practical in my gift selection so, don't judge."

"Of course not, Lance." Keith said, "I'm sure that you spent many years selecting a humble yet appropriate item."

"Years?" Lance said in a high pitched voice, "You guys had years to prepare for—" he cleared his throat, "Never mind. Sure, yeah. Humble and... appropriate. Absolutely. Sure did. Well, we better head out, brothers."

"Show us the gift, Lance." Hunk said.

"Uh, is it me or is the star looking a little dimmer?" Lance said, poking his head out of the tent. The star was just fine, Shiro politely led Lance back inside, seemingly oblivious to the fourth wise man's anxiousness.

"Come on, we're eager to see what you have for the Messiah."

"Okay, fine! But remember we all agreed, beforehand, on a ten shekel limit and none of you followed that."

"Relax, Lance. For it is not the price that is important," Hunk said wisely, placing his hands together in prayer, "It's the thought that truly—"

"I got him a gift card!" Lance exclaimed, silencing the three wise men once he pulled out the said card. All three stared at him in surprise. They grimaced, unsure what to say. This... really was a terrible gift to give to The Savior of all humanity.

"That—that's perfect!" Hunk said, but the sudden high pitch in his voice didn't help in making him sound very convincing. "Yeah, yeah. Simple but... practical, like you said, right guys?"

Shiro chuckled nervously. "Yeah, totally."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Keith said, only to have Shiro elbow him in the ribs.

Lance face palmed himself. He knew the gift was bad, the guys didn't even have to pretend to hide it. "Why did I put this off until the last minute? This is like the least wise thing I have ever done!"

"Debatable," Keith muttered under his breath. Shiro once again elbowed him in the ribs. "You know that barely hurts, right? I'm half Galra."

"Lance, I'm sure it'll be fine," Shiro said kindly.

"No, no. You guys always do this to me. Remember last year at the wise men white elephant gift exchange? You brought an actual while elephant! How was I supposed to compete with that?"

"I'm sure your gift will get used eventually," Shiro said.

"Yeah, maybe Joseph will use it to buy a new tool belt." Keith said, "Or as a re-gift."

"But any case, brethren, we must depart." Hunk said.

"No, I can't show up to the Manger with this!" Lance said, waving his gift card around. "Mary's going to be like: "Gold! Frankincense! Myrrh, Gift... Card? Wow, what a perfect gift for my Son. A.k.a THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON EVER!"

"Settle down, Lance." Keith began, "Just make sure that you give with pure—"

"Even the shepherd boy is gonna one-up me with a cute, adorable baby wool hat he made. Man, they're gonna call me a Fool-Man after this!"

"I'll tell them we went half-sies on the myrrh," Shiro suggested.

"Trust me, He'll know that we didn't, okay? I mean, I just got to pray that this gift is good enough to—Wait." Lance's eyes widened. "This expires 1 A.D! That's today! I got to come up with something else, out of my way!"

Lance ran out to try and grab a last-minute gift. Anything that was worth the greatness of The Lord, leaving his three friends to sigh.

"What are we gonna do, Shiro?" Keith asked, "They're expecting four gifts."

"You need a fourth gift you say?" Comet came in, a cute little drum dangled from his neck and levitated two drum sticks and played a rendition of The Drummer Boy song. It was so cute it melted the hearts of the three wise men. Then, Shiro got an idea.

"All right, let's take the little drummer boy and get out before Lance comes back."

Hunk and Keith quickly agreed and with Comet they left the tent on their camels, following the star. Once they were gone Lance came back with a mediocre macaroni necklace.

"Guys, guys! I did it, the perfect gift. Guys? Hey! Oh, I see how it is. So you're the three wise men now, huh? Like that'll catch on. _Ya'll gonna miss me!_" Lance then turned to the camera and waved, "Happy Three Kings Day to all my fellow Latinos and Latinas out there! _Feliz Navidad!"_

(~)

**Sketch 6**

**The Gift of the Magi**

"Sweetheart, you're home." Pidge was so happy when she saw her husband Lance coming in through the front door. His coat was covered in snow as was his hat but he didn't care. He was just happy to have gotten back before the weather got worse, which was what his wife was most worried about.

"The Foreman let me go early. Merry Christmas, honey." Lance hugged his wife.

"Merry Christmas."

"Now, Pidge I know we promised no gifts this year but..." Lance pulled out a gift-wrapped box from his coat and his heart leaped when he saw the twinkle in his wife's eyes.

"Oh, Lance. I got you something too." Pidge reached for her pocket and got up a tiny white box with a red bow.

Lance smiled. He wasn't expecting a gift, what with their salary, but his wife put in the extra effort to get him something special just as he did. He loved her so much.

"Pidge, you didn't have to do that."

"Go ahead, open it."

The couple sat side by side on their small wooden table and they opened their gifts at the same time. Pidge gasped when she saw her husband had gifted her the most beautiful combs she had ever seen. For Lance, he was given a gold chain for his pocket watch.

"Oh, honey. These are beautiful." Pidge said, then looked sorrowfully at her husband. "But... I sold my hair."

"You what?"

"I sold my hair to pay for that chain for your watch."

Pidge removed her bonnet to reveal that she had indeed cut her hair... and no, we're not talking as in she just cut it short like in the show. No, she shaved almost all of it. Only small clumps of her hair remained. It wasn't exactly a pretty sight.

"But, I sold my watch to buy you those combs," Lance said, unfazed by his wife's now near bald head.

"You did that for me?"

"Of course."

Pidge placed her hands around her husband's neck, clenching his collar. "Why... in the _blazes would you do that?!_"

"Oh, here we go."

The soft violin music that once filled the air was now dead.

"Would it have killed you to leave a note?"

"A note?"

"Yeah, just to say; "Hey honey, off to the market to sell my watch. _Don't_ cut off all your hair and completely trash your beauty in a misogynistic society where long hair and cooking are the only things you're good for!"

"There is no way we can afford enough paper for a note that long!"

"Well then scratch it into the door!" Pidge said, clawing her fingernails on the wooden door.

"Don't put this all on me! A simple, "Good morning sweetheart, don't go and sell your precious heirloom watch and buy me a box of useless combs cause I'm gonna straight bic my head today!" Would have been great!"

"You know, if you would have just stuck to our agreement of us no—I'm sorry, I can't. I just can't do this anymore."

"What? Pidge, this isn't in the script."

"Look, I get that this is supposed to be the joke but I can't make fun of this story, it's one of my favorites."

Lance sighed, running his fingers through his hair, removing bits of the remaining flakes of snow. "Yeah. It's my favorite too. What's not to love? A poor couple gives up something precious to them to get each other a special gift for Christmas."

"And even if they realize they can't use their gifts because of what they had to give up it doesn't matter. The fact that they were willing to go the extra mile for each other was the real gift all along."

"Exactly. You know what, who cares if this wasn't in the sketch. I love you, Pidge."

"I love you too, Sharpshooter."

The audience 'awww'ed' as the young couple embraced.

"And you know, the bald look really does suit you."

"It's a bald cap."

"Oh, thank God!" Lance sighed in relief, his grip on Pidge tightening. She just laughed and she removed the bald cap, letting her short hair free. There was no way she was going to ever shave her head.

"I actually did get you a gift," Pidge said then reached behind the fake wooden cabinet to get it.

"Pidge, you really didn't have to," Lance said but still accepted the gift and when he pulled off the wrapping paper he gasped. "No way! Is this—"

"Yep."

"Phantasm 2.0 with the limited edition multiplayer feature and—" Lance gasped deeply—"An autographed picture of the Rayllum kiss from The Dragon Prince season 3?! WHAAAAAAAAAAA?! How did you—?!"

"I pulled some strings and they were more than happy to do it."

...

"So, if we sign the bloody picture you'll leave, never come back and tell people to quit commin' here and beggin' us to sign another image of our kiss? You're like the fifteenth person to come here this month asking for the exact same thing." Rayla said. Her boyfriend Callum hiding behind her, looking more uncountable than scared.

"Yes, done deal. Now please tell your cute little dragon friend to stop bitting my leg!" Pidge said, pointing at Zym who was chomping at her leg. It was a good thing she choose to wear long pants today.

"Zym, no! You don't know where that's been!" Callum said as he tried yanking the dragon off of the paladin.

...

"But wait, Maggie's never written fanfiction about them so how did you get access to their dimension? I thought we couldn't get into canon territory."

"I phoned a friend. He's... pretty good at figuring out loopholes." Pidge said, winking to the audience, "Do you like 'em?"

"I _love_ them! But... I'm sorry Pidge, I really did try to get you that telescope you wanted but it was sold out and with my family coming for the holidays, and I had to loan some of my savings to my mom and brothers and—"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. You don't have to apologize. I know this year was tight for you, I'm just happy to see you happy."

"Oh, Katie. I might not have gotten you the telescope but, I do have something. _Keith!"_

Off-screen, Keith tossed Lance an acoustic guitar. Like a gentleman, Lance led Pidge to a chair while he got down on one knee and started strumming a familiar song.

_I wanted to get you_

_Something oh, so rare_

_A gift to show I care_

_But nothing can compare_

_To you, that's easy to see_

_But I got stressed and overthought_

_Until the day was shot_

_And it was all for naught_

_But now it's clear to me_

_I'm not gifted at gifting_

_It's really pretty sad_

_I tried to show I care_

_But it turned out bad_

_I'm not gifted at gifting_

_So all that's left to say_

_Is that I really hope my gifting_

_Didn't ruin your holiday_

Pidge wiped her tears with her writs. "Lance, you remembered."

"Of course. I know you're a pegasister at heart. Plus, this series is mostly parody songs, or somewhat parodies or jukebox musical so this is as far as I can go."

Pidge leaped into Lance's arms, kissing his lips. "Merry Christmas, Lance."

"Merry Christmas, Pidge."

The audience applauded and the curtain fell. When it rose again the entire cast walked out, taking a bow. Keith took Allura's hand and kissed it.

"We hope you enjoyed our parody sketches as much as we had fun making them for you," Keith said.

"We want to thank you all for having stuck with us and supporting this series for this long. I honestly can't think of a better gift. Thank you and Happy holidays, from our family to yours." Allura said.

"God bless us, everyone." Ember said, "Play us off, Uncle Lance."

Lance gave Ember a salute and continue strumming the guitar.

**Keith:**

_The most magical gift_

_That I can recall_

_It could've been big or small_

_Or even nothing at all_

**Allura:**

_It doesn't matter, you see_

_If it's from my friends on whom I depend_

_No matter what you spend_

_It will be perfect to me_

**Keith and Allura:**

_The true gift of gifting_

_Is what it means inside_

_We can show we care_

_Spreading love far and wide_

_The true gift of gifting_

_Is totally free_

_And you're the best there is at giving it_

_With the friendship that you give to me_

As they sang, Romelle surprised Lotor with a gift. He was taken by surprise at first until he opened it and found it was a copy of the Rankin Bass special of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, a film he had grown a soft spot for recently. Romelle nodded her head without saying a word but she did smile.

As for Acxa, Allura surprised her with a necklace, which had her father's stone attached. Now she could wear it everywhere instead of keeping it in her pocket.

The heroes all gathered by the fireplace near the large tree and exchanged gifts. Allura gave her husband the entire Narnia series collection. His inner child was laughing with joy. Keith gave his wife a box of Juniberry flower shampoo and conditioner, her favorites. Hunk was given new kitchen utensils from Shiro and everyone else chipped in to give Shiro a very special gift...

A Corolla Space Car! With insurance! Shiro was bouncing off the walls.

The longmas exchanged humbler gifts. Silver Star gifted her mother with a self-portrait, Comet got Nebula some Chinese food, Blaze gave Aura a plant from Olkarion and Aura gave Blaze... the bat from their Kidnapping Santa Hunk Sketch. He swung the weapon happily, almost whacking Lance in the head with it.

Zethrid and Ezor also exchanged gifts, which were mainly weapons, and Romelle surprised Shiro with a kiss on the cheek. Xian held a mistletoe above them. The space mice gave Xian a bucket of chicken legs, and for Kosmo, they gave him a bone to chew on.

When the gift exchange was over they ate the Christmas feast Hunk had prepared, which included roast beef, turkey, ambrosia salad, mashed potatoes drenched in gravy, and for dessert, a chocolate Christmas themed cake, ice cream, and gingerbread cookies. They sang all through the night, thanking their Lord and Savior for another wonderful year, and for the year to come.

**All:**

_We've all been friends forever_

_And look how far we've come _

_(How far we've come)_

_The holiday brings us close_

_And now it's time for fun _

_(It's now begun)_

**Lotor:**

_The greatest gift you give to me_

_Is more precious than gold_

**All:**

_Ah-ah-ah-ah_

**Ember:**

_Never ended, always mended_

_And it can't be bought or sold_

**All:**

_The true gift of gifting_

_Is what it means inside_

_We can show we care_

_Spreading love far and wide_

_The true gift of gifting_

_Is totally free_

_And you're the best there is at giving it_

_With the friendship that you give to me_

From the window, a certain chaotic friend from another story watched the display and his heart was moved.

"And so it all worked out. And a lesson was learned, there's no need to obsess. Gift giving is simple as long as you recall..."

The chaotic spirit tore open a portal and flew back into his dimension, where everyone was celebrating Heart's Warming Even at Harmony City, and Team Avatar Harmony, both young and old, waved back to remind him there was still a party happening at Air Temple Island. The chaotic spirit winked to the audience.

"Friendship is the best gift of all!"

(~)

_And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth._

_~John 1:14_

_(~)_

**Happy Holidays, everybody. I really wanted to make something special for you guys to show how grateful I am for all of your support through the years. I wasn't sure what to make, since I wanted to give you something heartfelt, but I feel you'll be getting plenty of that in the coming chapters of the actual story so I decided to give you something more comedic and fun, with a good chunk of heartfelt at the end. **

**P.S. Yes, that was Discord at the end there. How else do you think Pidge was able to meet Rayla and Callum in the first place?**

"_**You still need to pay us for that cameo, lady!**_**"**

**What do you need money for, Callum? You're a prince for Celestia's sake! **

"_**Tell that to our boss!**_**"**

**Come on, dude. It's Christmas, this could be your gift to us. ***_puppy eyes_*****

"_**Ooh, Rayla!**_**"**

**Okay, okay, put those knives away! Geez! Asami, pay the kids. **

*****_Asami grumpily hands them a large stack of cash_*** "**_**Last time we invite you two to anything ever again.**_**"**

**Thank you all so much, I love you guys. God bless you all and I will see you in the next chapter.**

"_**You owe me thirty-four dollars.**_**"**

**Sato, don't you start with me!**


End file.
